


Winter Of Our Youth

by httpveronica



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, hope you'll like it tho, i dont even know what im writing anymore sorry, this is supposed to take place somewhere around 2009/2010 idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:52:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8238256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpveronica/pseuds/httpveronica
Summary: the morning after Dan's first time





	

As the sun seeps through the curtains, the covers on the warm bed start rustling, sound lacing through the serenity of the cold December morning.

  
Dan stirs from under a couple of soft warm blankets, his hair sticking out on the pillow as he turns his head away from the bright window.

  
As he moves, he feels pain shooting up his spine and down his neck. He reaches to touch his own neck, flinching as he feels the bruising pain intensifying beneath his calloused fingertips.

  
Thoughts from last night suddenly come rushing to his head, fully waking him up. He remembers now. They've just came back from a date at the cinema, followed by going to a really fancy restaurant, where they ate some pretentious salad and shared a bottle of expensive red wine.

They were a little bit too tipsy to easily unlock the door to Kyle's hotel room, but sober enough not to regret anything they were about to do. Dan's clouded body expressed his love to Kyle more than his sober mind would have had that night. That was the night Dan lost his virginity. It's not as if he had truly "lost" it, he open heartedly gifted it to Kyle and he wouldn't have had to anyone except for him. And everything was a perfect chaotic mess. Kyle was so gentle and tender, contrasting with his lack of sobriety that Dan ended up crying in the middle of it all, because he couldn't imagine a better first time, and also accentuated by the alcohol madly pumping through his veins. Kyle took his time and always checked on him, and when he couldn't take the pain at the beginning anymore, Kyle waited patiently and tried to distract him in the best ways possible, kissing his delicate neck and massaging his electrified and aching scalp. He swears that he could still feel his lips warm from last night's passionate kisses.

 

But what hurt him the most was that when he woke up in the morning, the pillow next to him was as cold as London's winter air. A single tear escaped his eye, making his way down his cheek and onto his suddenly touch starved lips. Kyle's probably left him, without even saying goodbye. It was easier for him that way. He wondered why he was so surprised, though. This time he thought it was something special that was bounding them together, but apparently Kyle just wanted to have his way with him and probably regretted investing so much time in an inexperienced virgin already. If he only knew how much he loved him...

 

They'd been in a relationship for over two months, but Dan was shy about confessing his love for Kyle, although he knew he loved him from day one, when he laid his eyes upon him and watched him sip at his overly sweetened tea, dearly holding the cup with both of his hands up to his freezing red nose, as his whiskey eyes danced up to Dan's startled state. Was is too soon for love? He didn't think so, but what if Kyle did? He couldn't just blurt out his deepest emotions and let them alone in the wilderness. If he could be sure of something, he could have sworn that Kyle would never ever love him. He knew it, although all of his affectionate actions proved him otherwise. He low key knew that his mind was exaggerating again, as it always does, but what if this time it wasn't his brains that made him feel insecure? What if his mind was true?

 

Dan was knocked out of his thoughts when the door creaked and a strong smell of burnt food filled his nostrils. Dan scrunched up his nose, his eyes flying up to the door. Dan smiled, feeling relieved after seeing that Kyle hasn't left him. Yet, at least. Dan added mentally, the corners of his lips dropping a little bit.

 

On the doorstep, Kyle poked his head through the door, holding a tray, from which steam was rising right into his face, making him squint his eyes.

 

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty! Lovely Sunshine! Marvellous Full Moon! Slept well? Made you some scrambled eggs. Sunny side up, just as you like it!" Kyle scurried over to the bed and happily threw himself over Dan's spread legs, after putting the tray on his nightstand.

 

"Ow, morning..." Dan mumbles, slight pain shooting up his spine again.

 

"How are you feeling? Are you sore or anything?" Kyle asks, carefully getting off Dan's legs and gently grazing Dan's tummy with his cold fingers, making him shiver. His skin started to get goosebumps wherever Kyle's fingertips would caress, making Kyle giggle.

 

"Kind of, yeah..." Dan answers, painfully wiggling up so he could slightly sit up on the bed, angling his hips so he would not rest on his butt. He scrunched his nose in pain before finally finding a slightly more comfortable position to look at Kyle, who was spread on his bed, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

 

"Stay here, I'll bring some painkillers!" Kyle stood up and softly pecked his thin bruised lips, bolting up off the mattress. Dan catches his arm before he could skip to their kitchen, where he kept the meds.

 

"Come on, it's ok. Just... Stay with me for a little longer? Please?" Dan asks silently, his eyes glistening from pain caused by his body, but also from the heartbreaking thought that crossed his mind earlier that morning. Dan really wouldn't fancy being left alone right now, if he were to be honest.

 

"Oh, Dan..." Kyle sighed and took the hand that was holding his arm between his palms and pressed it to his lips, lost in thought.

 

"I love you..." Kyle whispered carefully, his eyes slowly prying off Dan's hand and travelling up to his huge deer eyes, trying to decipher the emotions that were running through his head.

 

"I-..."

 

Dan tried to tell him that he loved him too, he really did, but words got stuck on their way out, chaotically stumbling through his throat. His mouth was left agape and his eyes were accidentally boring into Kyle's deep topaz irises. He wished Kyle wouldn't have caught his gaze, but now it was too late. He could see Kyle's face fall dishearteningly, his smile collapsing along with his claret cheeks, after five solid minutes passing by without any word from Dan, only his startled face.

 

"Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I'll just... I'll bring you some meds and then... I don't know, Dan. Then what?" Kyle asks impassively, already gone through the door. Dan could hear cabinet doors slamming and water running endlessly, sounds of splashing skin and towel rubbing over the face. Everything turned from pure serenity to complete chaos in a matter of minutes. And Dan couldn't forgive himself, as he was left astounded. Couldn't believe that he couldn't say those words back, those words which held his whole world up. But he also couldn't believe Kyle's words, he probably pitted him and was sorry that he caused him pain, but Dan couldn't imagine Kyle actually loving him. He didn't want his pity, so he didn't want his shallow confessions swarming through his naive ears.

 

The clock on the wall was shattering Dan's heart into millions of fragile pieces, making his skin run cold and his eyes tear up.

 

After way too many minutes, Kyle walked through the door again, his eyes red and a fake smile glued to his face like a sticker on a photograph. He brought Dan a glass of water and a gummy orange pill, which he put next to the tray on the nightstand.

 

"Are you-" Kyle stopped mid sentence, coughing at hearing his own strained voice break through the cold air of Dan's room.

 

"Are you at least going to eat?" Kyle tries again, this time concealing his pain a little better, although it was already pretty obvious.

 

"Did you mean it?" Dan ignored Kyle and asked him, his eyes plastered on the rings on his slender fingers.

 

"Why'd it matter to you, anyways?" Kyle glacially spitted the words out, looking out of the window, watching the bird fly from the wires hanging in the wind.

 

"Because I love you too..." Dan whispers, uncertain of his own voice, and shyly interweaving his fingers with Kyle's, his gaze not looking up from their hands. Kyle squeezed his cold fingers and leaned on Dan's side, taking his head between his hands and kissing him deeply, awkwardly bumping their noses together from the uncomfortable position they were sitting. Dan could feel Kyle's plump lips smiling into the kiss, his moustache tickling his upper lip and making him chuckle.

 

"God, I love you so much, Dan, you can't even imagine..." Kyle whispers between kisses, elated that he could finally say those once heavy words out loud. He started pecking Dan's little freckles, placing little smooches everywhere, excited like a little puppy.

 

"Now you should seriously eat" Kyle adds after a long period of only gazing into Dan's cornflower blue eyes. Kyle was sure that his eyes got so blue because he has been looking at the sky for far too long. He looked like nature's greatest masterpiece in Kyle's eyes. His hair was like a field of wild flowers, always rustling in the cold breeze and his body was as languid as a swan's on a crystal clear lake. Dan's face was littered with soft pebbles that transformed into freckles, once his feet hit the terrestrial ground from another dimension. Kyle was sure that Dan couldn't be a terrestrial being, he was too kind for this world of chaos.

 

Dan seeks his closeness, scooting to the middle of the bed to make Kyle some place to stay and pulling him closer. They were both as cold as ice, and yet they still embraced each other like their only warmth supply. Dan winced as he moved, wiggling until he felt a little more comfortable, nestled in Kyle's arms.

 

"Eat a little bit, so you could swallow your meds." Kyle instructed more firmly now, grabbing the tray and carefully placing it in Dan's lap.

 

"Can't I take the pill now, and then eat?"

 

"I don't think so... If you take it on an empty stomach it might do some stuff to it, I don't really know, but I don't think that would be a good idea. Just eat half of your food, at least." Kyle said and fed Dan a spoonful of strawberry yogurt, placing a little kiss on the corner of his mouth and licking some yogurt off his thin lips in the process.

 

"Kyle, you're plainly disgusting" Dan laughs and grabs the tray, feeding himself and glaring at the younger man, who had a dumb smile glued to his content face.

 

"Not my fault you're so sweet" Dan blushed at Kyle's sneaky compliment, and jokingly hit him on his head.

 

"Oh, shut up" Dan laughed, cuddling closer to Kyle, as he wrapped one of his arms around his waist and snuggled him affectionately. 

 

Hours might have passed, but how could they have known if they weren't even aware of the sun rising up on the sky, the cars passing by and and the clock ticking constantly? They were far too lost into small banter and innocent touches and kisses to care about anything else except for each other now.

**Author's Note:**

> hii hope you enjoyed reading this! i've had it saved in my drafts for a couple of weeks now, but i've never felt like actually posting it... so please let me know what you think about it!! (◕◡◕✿)


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